Why I miss the NICU

When you're in the thick of your NICU journey, every minute of every day is spent hoping, wishing, praying for the day you get to take your baby home. That's why this may come as a shock to some of you... I miss the NICU.

Now dont get me wrong... Im SO grateful that Nash is healthy and we are home.

But the NICU is this beautiful, incredible place that unless you have experienced it, you may not understand. You're probably thinking Im crazy to describe a place filled with tiny, some sick, little babies as a beautiful and incredible place but I promise you...it really is.

Every single one of our 80 days there started with morning rounds. I would stand in the door way of Nash's room and a half circle of the most incredible people in the world... Doctors, RTs, PTs, Nurses, Charge Nurses, Pharmacists and Dietitians would gather around and discuss my son. And every single time this happened I cried. I cried because this group of AMAZING individuals genuinely cared about MY son. They were invested... not just because it was their job... but because it was their passion and while in their care my baby was also their baby. How incredible is that!?

These people became part of our family. They shared our highs and our lows. They walked this journey along side of us. And now that we are home... I miss them... a lot.

The NICU is also this incredibly quiet place and I miss that! lol! I miss the uninterrupted, endless amounts of quiet time that I had spent just cuddling Nash. I'm talking about hours and hours a day spent just the two of us, skin to skin. I will never be able to have that time again...and I desperately miss it.

I miss the mom's... The women who with just a passing glance in the hall knew exactly how you felt. Who, with just a nod, could acknowledge and encourage you. These were some of the most incredible women I have ever meet. I miss the time we spent together in the Ronald McDonald house drinking endless amounts of delicious coffee talking, crying and laughing.

There are days where I wish we could just walk past those big NICU security doors and into the pods. Im almost certain, that it would still feel like home.

 

 

My heart is forever changed because of the experience we had in the NICU and I miss it.